things I'd blog about if I had more than one hand with which to type:

Over the last few weeks, I have thought of many blog-worthy (to me) topics but MK is going through a growth spurt/can't sleep unless physically touching mom and hates bjorn and moby/cry when awake and not being held phase. And p.s. capitalizing takes too much time so that's going too. so here are the unedited, poorly phrased things i would have talked about this week had i had two hands.

• why people blog- narcissism vs. need for community vs. outlet for sharing pain vs. ambulance chasing vs. online baby books vs. keeping in touch with family/friends
• nathan deal. specifically his off-topic and hateful attack ads against Karen Handel and his general prejudices and bigotry.
• why i think most prejudices and 'isms are caused by lack of exposure to people unfamiliar to us or different than us
• hope: how parenthood seems to be one big roller coaster of days from hell followed by complete joy and the faith to know that the joy always follows the hell
• how even though i love my child more than life, i sing hallelujah when her dad walks in and takes the leech precious babe from my arms
• the absolute necessity of community/fellowship while enduring anything from  cancer to infertility to the terrible two's to life changes
• why i think georgia power is the devil incarnate and my concern for people who cannot afford hundreds of dollars even though they keep their cotton pickin a/c on 78 or above
• how i see God asking me to be more present and less distracted in everything from nursing my child to driving my car. p.s. we now have a no phone zone in the honda and it really does have more to do with how engaged I was in the phone conversation to be going faster than I ever have (as opposed to the speed limit) than it does the big FAT ticket I got on I-16.
• how last night my child slept through the night. THROUGH THE NIGHT. and how aggravating it is to be awake, worrying about what could be wrong, instead of sleeping. and about how I sort of missed her during the night. i think they call that crazy love.
• the many things I am praying about and the things I'd ask prayers for- including job opportunties, family relationships, and the wisdom to raise this little chicken into a faithful, strong woman.
• my wonderful trip to savannah (minus the ticket) which included mk meeting her 3 second cousins, all born since January,  and her aunt Denise. more pics on that later (Denise- email them to me ;) but a few to start

having a talk with great- grandma (who looks adorable in her head band ;)

taking a bottle from cousin A and Aunt Mary

and just looking cute in her seer-sucker bubble!

picture post from Mary Kate

"this is what I think of my first dip in the pool. Don't worry.

Dr. Combes said it was okay for me to take a quick swim with
dad. He was chomping at the bit to get me in there"

"all better with a hug from dad. I didn't mind it after that. And
the warm bath to wash all the chlorine off was fabulous"

"this is mom and dad's friend Helen. She and her boyfriend Brian cooked us a delicious dinner. I clearly like Helen. Mom and dad liked their food and wine!"

"this is mom's attempt at capturing my current hair-do. Mom foresees many battles with me about fixing this wild hair in the future and asks you not to judge if you see us at church and I have won the battle."

"this is how excited I am about college football season, despite my adorable UGA onesie that says 'Rookie with my number, 1/2,' on the back"

"this is what happens when mom tells dad he can dress me for
family date night at The Border."




Thanks for entertaining mom's need to do something with photos other than import them to the computer. God forbid she print a few off and frame them. Maybe if I let her sleep a little more this would happen, though I wouldn't count on it. I am busy awake thinking about hanging out with my friend Grant tonight and about how much I can't wait to meet my new friend baby Bagwell. Hope y'all have a great day. Thanks for reading and taking care of my crazy mother. Love, MK

1 month birthday, 3 days late

It's official. I have been humbled. I used to scoff at the women who would say "I'm lucky if I take a shower or brush my teeth." I figured, what do you ladies do all day while your newborn sleeps?? Well, it's not the first time I put my foot in my mouth. On Mary Kate's one month birthday (this past Monday), I told her, mom can either write a sweet, sentimental post that we will put in your (non-existent) baby book, or we can party in your room from 1a-6a. Guess which one my precious girl chose?

So, no post on her one month birthday and no cute picture of her next to a big bear to show her growth. I tried to take one of her next to the dog but he wasn't having it. I can attest to her growth though. Today was her one-month checkup and the doctor was very affirming that her 65x/day feedings are indeed working. Little piglet is 9lbs 5oz, up from 6.14 one month ago. So I am obviously not wasting my time with our all day nursing. Just for record-keeping (will I even care about this 20 years from now??), she is a well-proportioned gal, in the 75 percentile for weight, length, and head circumference. When the doctor asked me how I was adjusting, I may or may not have embarrased my husband to no end by immediately dropping a few tears before assuring her that we are doing okay, despite the sleep thing.

I don't have to write about our biggest issue here because you all have done it and you all assure me that "it will get better." God help every last one of you if this is just lip service. And to those new moms I previously judged who don't shower during the day, I am so, so sorry. Please karma, give a girl a break. When the doc suggested I pump an extra bottle to speed the 3am (or 1am or 5am) feedings, I nearly laughed. Now I probably won't even brush my teeth. Friends and husbands beware.

But I will say that a few things have kept me sane in this past month, despite the very large amount of feeding and very little amount of sleep. So as to not make your head spin further with this post's complete lack of organization, a few bullets.

• putting on makeup. Awhile back Rachel remarked that putting on makeup each day made her feel more sane. I don't know if I feel more sane but I know my husband is less afraid when he comes home with a little help from Loreal. And I am less afraid when I pass a mirror.
• getting out of the house. We do this near daily and while it is tiring, these visits with friends or family or lunch with dad are always worth it. Plus, it (usually) makes mom brush teeth and put on makeup. Note that I did not include a shower in there.
• I've said it before, God makes newborns so cute so as to not want to put your own (not baby's) head in a pillow and scream when you've been woken up for the 5th time in 4 hours. God has definitely answered my prayers and in my most frustrated state, those blue eyes on that child still make me stop and smile.
• It does get better. Admittedly, I have wanted to shoot many of you for that constant assertion. It's not that I didn't trust your memories of those early days with your babes, but that speaking in the future tense was just not okay. I don't need it to get better sometime later, I need it to get better now. Tomorrow will be 5 weeks from that fateful day at Piedmont Hospital and I can now say that all of you are safe. I will not be shooting you. Each day (notice I did not say NIGHT) gets better. It actually gets a little more fabulous.
• Having a supportive husband is KEY. No doubt about it, Ross has kept me saneish and Mary Kate is simply so very lucky he is her dad. I have not moments I am not proud of, like the other night when I am ashamed to say, I told him to shut up as I went to bed. A few minutes later, he was in the room, hugging me, allowing me to apologize and reassuring me that we will get through these crazy first weeks. Having someone who understands the psychosis that ensues after a month without sleep (hell, after 11 months- I hate any pregnant woman who actually sleeps) is very helpful. Plus, the kid seems to adore the guy. That helps too. 
• Friends who have done this before freaking rock. Ashley, Betsy, Natalie, Elizabeth, Jennifer D, Jennifer S, Kacie, Amy N., Rae, Emily, Lisa, Melanie, mom, Busha, and many others, thank you. Even though I don't always believe you when you tell me we are doing a good job and that again,  it will get better, hearing your advice and your support makes it easier. It takes a village to raise a new mama.
• New moms should get a gold medal if one day includes pumping a night bottle, teeth brushing, shower and vacuuming. If I can get in a shower today, plus the blog, I should get two.
• Everything takes a back seat to that precious, noctural, piglet, including blogging and most forms of etiquette. So, your thank you notes are coming, I promise. And emails will be returned by age 6 months. I will never again judge any woman in this "4th trimester" of life.
• And lastly, what I know of this crazy season, is that prayer truly does work. So, if I have been so priviledged to have yours, thank you. They are totally, totally working. Please do not hesitate to let me know how I can return the favor. I have lots of free time on my hands from 1a-6a and would love to make good use of it praying for you!

Happy 1 month and 3 day birthday precious girl

To Mary Kate, from Audrey

Tonight I was nursing Mary Kate and picked up this lovely little devotional my sister bought me called "Words to Warm A Mother's Heart." I was reading aloud when I came across a quote that sums up some of my hopes for my little girl. So, to Mary Kate, some advice from a lovely woman.

For attractive kips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, Let a child run her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you'll never walk alone.

~Audrey Hepburn~

4 Fridays ago today, I saw my daughter's gorgeous blue eyes for the first time. And while I still see those eyes mostly between the hours of 1am and 5am, my love for her and gratitude to God for her grow every minute.I look forward to a lifetime of sharing dreams together.