I felt like a mom

This week Mary Kate has been sick with a virus. Her fevers have been super high, her appetite, super low. She has been fussy and unhappy. But she has also been cuddly. If you've read more than 2 posts on this blog, you know that cuddly is not my child. Even as a tiny baby, she did not curl into you, lay her head on your shoulder or show tenderness to you. Childcare workers at various places have quickly learned that if she is crying, the answer is NOT to pick her up.

Most days, I feel like what the real life of a mom looks like. Words like janitor, nurse, cook, and animal tamer come to mind. But as I was rocking her the other night, without a bottle or a book, just her, just laying her head on my shoulder and letting herself be comforted by her mom, I felt like how I always imagined it would be. I felt like a mom.

It was glorious. I would have given it up in a millisecond for her to feel better and be back to her shenanigans, knowing this cuddly version of my girl isn't really my girl. But I relished being able to comfort her. I relished holding her without her squirming out to find the next dog bone to eat or paper to shred. I relished that something about me comforted her.

showing daddy some of that same love