It's Saturday. I soooo selflessly gave up my run this morning (please read the sarcasm in that) so that Ross could go to a half day retreat/talk on dad's by the famed Msgr Lopez at St. Pius today. The first line of the flyer read: “A child is not likely to find a father in God, unless he finds something of God in his father.” - George MacDonald. Dad being gone all morning means only one person in this house is dressed (Thomas) and MK is running around in her birthday suit teaching her baby Emmy how to go potty. It also means we're having chick-fil-a for lunch. Spiritual nourishment for dad, a noble excuse to miss a run I was dreading, and a bad for me
On the note of MK potty training her baby doll, we've been inside all week (awful) but are well on our way to cutting our diaper bill in half. Sorry amazon mom, you're one subscription less! It wasn't half the battle I anticipated but imagine that minimal clothing and not going anywhere helped immensely. When we resume our regularly scheduled weekly activities (costco, church, mops), we'll test out just how successful we were. I'm cautiously optimistic and feel rewarded for the ridiculous case of cabin fever I have.
This week I finished a great book A People of Hope: Archbishop Timothy Dolan. One of the best lines comes from Pastores Dabo Vobis, written by Blessed Pope John Paul II. "The great temptation today is to define our worth by having and doing, not being." This struck me and was so comforting as a mom in the throes of potty training and sleep training and laundry and do we buy a new house or a new car or whatever new "thing" we think we need. As I write this, I even want to define myself as a mama to a little clothes-less girl on my lap holding a rosary and kissing Jesus. But even that isn't right. Whether I'm raising a child who loves Jesus or is still running around naked at 25, whether I ever use my master's degree again or contribute to our family financially, doesn't matter. None of that matters. It matters that I am a child of God, loved by God, valued by God- regardless of any of that. Thank you, Father Tim for a great, great read! Hope to compile a whole post full of thoughts on the rest of the book. There were so many more fantastic takeaways.
I hope hope hope, pray pray pray, we have turned a corner with Thomas's sleep. The past 3 nights he has slept 11-12 hours and it has been heavenly. So heavenly that I've skipped training runs to try to make up for 10 months of night waking. That stops next week because really, a few night's of sleep is perfection for outlook and perspective but it's not going to be an insta recharge for perpetual exhaustion. Regardless, it is a new life for our family that I'm sure I just jinxed. I have to give Ross the credit. He has taken the nighttime routine for Thomas since he was born and did most of this with MK as well. He knows our kids and has (seemingly) found the perfect combo to make that little vampire sleep! So thankful for a persevering husband (who I'm sure was just at his wits end with his tired wife).
MK spilled a cup of water at lunch yesterday and thankfully the only casualty was the 'P' button on my blackberry. So, lest you think I can't spell (I can, I was second place in every spelling bee- thanks to Wendy Ondriezak who stole the first place spot every time), know it's an occupational hazard. And do you have any idea how hard it is to type out work emails without using the letter p. Big problems over in casa Ninness.
The coming weeks and months are chock full of decisions for us. I am a terrible decision maker. I get knots in my stomach trying to ascertain what the next step in anything should be and have a long history of staying stagnant just to avoid stepping out of my comfort zone. From where to send MK to school next year, to if/where we should move, to where we should look for new opportunities, to when to start Thomas on solids, I neurotically obsess over it all. For me, many times anxiety (run of the mill, not severe) stems from not being a great place in my faith. If I believe that God really does have a plan for our family, a specific desire for us, then there is no room for anxiety. There is just an abundance of room for patience for him to reveal that plan. Now, to work on the patience part.
This past week was a very, very, important birthday. To Roo Roo, I remember the day you were born (and mom's 5 false labors). I remember coming home from 3rd grade and finally hearing that mom wasn't faking it anymore and we did indeed have a baby sister. I couldn't love you more. Thank you for being a wonderful aunt to my kids and to very often being a "big" sister to me.
And to dad. You don't read blogs but happy happy birthday old man. I knew exactly what to look for in a husband and a father because of your example. You sacrficied everything and more to send us to Catholic schools and to give us all we needed and most of what we wanted. Thank you for being a big kid, for rolling on the floor with my kids, for being such a great g-daddy. You were made to be a grandfather!
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