Monday, May 3, 2010

A work in progress

As life would have it, I have gotten much practice at implementing the ideas on my last post. There were a few more mentioned in my ethics workshop, related to distorted workplace thinking. My favorites included :

~the idea that you must always enjoy the favor of your supervisor
~the idea that your unhappiness is caused by patients or "the system" and that you have little or no ability to control your emotional reactions

Through the weekend I was able to start changing how I think. I know that only through repetition and re-conditioning my stubborn brain, will I be able to change the patterns that simply don't work.

So thus far, I have remembered that whether or not my mom over-extends herself as she goes back to work post-surgery is NOT in my control. Must move on from it. I know that my mom's decisions regarding my siblings are NOT in my control (also not my business), so I must move on from it. I cannot change the unkindness of a family member, so I will whisper a prayer for them and move on. I have been on the receiving end of workplace lashing out and today, it is okay that I am not in her favor. I will do my job and not depend on accolades to do good work. I know that only I control how I feel at the end of this day and am committed to my husband seeing a new wife when I pick him up today.

I know this sounds like a bunch of psych-mumbo-jumbo but I'm sooo over being negative Nancy. I realize how ingrained our responses become, how automatic. I know that through lots of repetition and practice, I can change how I respond to people, how affected I become by their decisions and their issues.

And just because it makes me smile, some perspective from our Sunday friends...

In the most difficult of situations, these ladies smile, thank God for their blessings, and endure any hardships they face with gratitude and grace. I am so appreciative of our weekly reminder to hug a friend, offer a kind word, and take our needs straight to God.

1 comment:

  1. First of are beautiful pregnant! I knew you would be :) Okay and second - you are hardly the "Debbie Downer" of the party! Ha! You are my most encouraging friend. I do love these posts, though, because sometimes it is hard to find joy in unloading the dishwasher every single day and my life has become very monotonous - and the battle to be negative wages inside me. Gus and I were just talking about this and how my outlook on it can change everything - so funny to read your post on the same thing, the power of positivity and being happy wherever you are in life :)