Either Julia (my ob) can take me off bed rest this week or she can write me a script for Valium.
I could more easily run a marathon today than I could do another week of bed rest. Seriously. Go get my running shoes. I will prove it.
I. Just. Can't. Do. This. Any.more. (each dot = sobs)
Before this, I could have cared less if things were left undone at the end of the day. (husband laughs or snorts or something). Now I can't stand it because I think it's all my fault that YOUR dog's hair is all over the floor or MK's smocked dress is in the dryer.
I just can't do it anymore. (Yes, again.)
Obviously I am doing a crappy job at getting the crap over myself, as promised from last week. I want to prepare for my baby, to organize and nest. Pregnancy is the only time I EVER get this urge so I want to and I can't and insert lots of whining. I am tired of being told what to do and am fighting like hell against anyone who dare suggest I sit when I happen to stand (consider yourself warned visitors.)
But I read two things today that have been a little bit of the Holy Spirit nudging me toward those big (really big) girl panties I so need.
I have long followed the story of a sorority sister's friend, Katherine, who suffered an brain aneurysm at age 26 with a 6 month old baby. Her mom recently wrote this about some physical problems she herself was having in the midst of her daughter's constant medical challenges.
"I have been here before, in a place of “enforced rest.” To fight against it is frustrating and futile. But it is always a place where much learning happens. I look forward to sharing new lessons-learned-the-hard-way with you when I’m back."
Well, because I'm in a crappy mood, I don't, at this minute, share the sentiment that I look forward to sharing those lessons when this is over. But when the panty fairy finds that XXXXXL pair of Hanes Her Way, I'm sure I'll be back with posts ad nauseum on all I've learned. You're welcome. That said, please go to Katherine's blog above and pray for that sweet girl. She needs it much more than Mrs. Bad Attitude over here.
And lastly, from the devotional I read when I ran away from home this morning (to a coffee shop where I put my feet up after crying to the owner that I just needed to drink a diet coke alone without worrying I'd deliver my baby. yup. sanity overfloweth.)
"There are days, sweet Jesus, when I feel like everything gets in the way of my plans. I am frustrated and discouraged. Divert my attention from myself, and help me devote myself to sweet meditation. Give me the grace to see your plans where once I only saw the disruption of mine." ~Danielle Bean and Elizabeth Foss.