7 Quick Takes Friday

hosted by Conversion Diary

1. Finding the time to put any sort of blog together these days is difficult. More difficult is finding words that don't sound absurd in my head. As I mentioned awhile back, the Lenten reflections pamphlet that I contributed to has been posted at Faith and Family Live. Knowing that what you've written is being read by a large amount of people all of a sudden makes writing more daunting. Nonetheless, I am confident that God alone will determine what happens with these words, even if it means people are gagging.
2. I love Sundays for so many reasons. This past week I found yet another. Ross took MK to nursery where she pranced in happily and came to meet me in the sanctuary. Ross put his arm around me and we both looked down at the ever-growing belly. As many post-first-baby pregnancies go, I get busy with life and Mary Kate and popping prilosec. On Sundays, it's just daddy and mama and Jesus and baby number two, without the distraction of big (loud) sister. Ross put his hand on his newest babe and I smiled, finally taking a minute to breathe a sigh of thanksgiving for this baby.
3. Taking a big left turn, what I do NOT love during Mass is "helicopter head." My definition of this is when a baby is crying and 30 people turn around to confirm the obvious. Having been the red-faced mama of a crying baby, none of those faces were calming. I'd venture to say that even if you turn around to give a sympathetic smile, your time might be better spent facing forward and saying a prayer for that mama. My two cents: unless you are turning around to hand that lady a starbucks gift card to get her through the day, keep your eyes forward.
4. Whew. Now I feel better. On to things that matter more, much more. My heart is heavy lately with the burdens being carried by so many. As I sit in the comfort of my home, there is baby being held by a nun downtown whose mama has full-blown AIDS. Will that mama see her little girl grow up? There is another mama a few hours east who is enduring a very difficult post-chemo day. I pray for her comfort and complete healing. There are close friends who would give their left arms to become mamas. Oh Lord fill their homes with sweet babies. My amazing brother has a broken heart and a breaking spirit. Oh that he would find a faith that reminds him that God truly comforts the brokenhearted. Just lots of reasons to sit down, close my eyes, and sit in trust that Jesus has got all of this.
5. Yesterday, our MOPS group heard an amazing couple talk about marriage. Quoting often from Love and Respect, it was basically a dart between my eyes. I know that a woman I admire endorses it highly and I even HAVE the danged book. Time to open it. I love my husband intensely. And I would tell you all day long that I respect him immensely. But I can see that having been self-sufficient for 10+ years before we met, I formed some habits that need tweaking. At the end of the day I need to show him what I feel inside- that he is a strong, loyal, successful, handsome man of God who provides for this family in every single way.
6. Mary Kate must have read my post about this age being my favorite because she has decided to make a fool out of me. She has been a pill this week and is making me crazy with whining and throwing fits. But today as she hurt herself during one of her fits, I sat down to hold her and blot the blood on her lip, I spotted an eye tooth popping through. So I'm hopeful that my angel baby returns in time for our uber busy April with lots of travel and routine changes.
7.  I have read many inspiring women who say that God always gives them just enough grace to get through a day. Yesterday, Ross was working major husband over-time by installing our new sink and disposal. Knowing MK would want to be under the sink "helping" dad, I realized I'd be working overtime too. After a rough post-nap time at home, we headed for the park. I was exhausted, feeling like 3 more hours of solo parenting might do me in. I literally had tears in my eyes as we left the park to go eat dinner, all of a sudden not believing those ladies. I did not feel that grace flowing in, giving me that last needed bit of energy to get through the next hours. But, big surprise, we got to a favorite restaurant with outdoor patio where MK could roam. She ate a bowl of chicken-chili like it was her job and clapped and sang. She was the perfect toddler child. Unexpectedly, our friend Karen  came to meet us toward the end and gave Mary Kate her favorite thing- an audience. Driving home, I couldn't believe it had been more than 3 hours since I'd doubted that God would supply me with a few more drops of energy. But supply me He did. One day I'll stop being surprised by the gift of his grace!

Etched

This Sunday was one of those that I need to remember. When I am old and forgetful, I want Mary Kate to read this and remind me of this oh so sweet day. It started with an invitation by the Missionaries of Charity (Mother Teresa's nuns) to Mass in their home. For most of the time Ross and I have known each other, their living room was our sanctuary. As our need for a nursery arose and the sisters' ministry changed some, we see them less. We were happy to attend Mass as the Sisters as they had invited Archbishop Gregory to say Mass. The last time we spoke with Archbishop, he gave a blessing to Mary Kate who was in utero.

We arrived, greeted by faces of love from our sisters. The Archbishop quickly arrived and remembered blessing Mary Kate over 2 years ago. He quickly assured us that he would not be disturbed by her "talking" and that it is adults who bother him during Mass, never children. He spoke to us of a father's love and of the Ten Commandments as a tool to grow in our faith. He smiled when Mary Kate pronounced "Amen" a  few too many times.

Mary Kate was uncharacteristically calm this Sunday, battling a little virus. She alternated between mine and Ross's shoulders or sitting calmly on our laps, if talking her way through Mass. At one point, she kept looking back at Sister Brunetta. As Sister reached out her arms, our girl climbed to her. A few minutes later, I looked back and MK was laying on Sister's shoulder, as content as can be. I know she was sick and lacking her little "let me down to destroy this room" mentality, but looking at a woman who has been with you since your first date with your husband (remember, "Keri, if you do not marry him you have to wear my habit!) hold your precious baby, well, it warmed me so.  I never want to forget the image of my girl feeling comforted and safe in the arms of my beloved Sister Brunetta.

Mass ended and Archbishop joked that he had some competition for attention with Mary Kate. Newly arrived Sister Dominga whispered that there was no competition- MK  clearly won. We received a blessing for new baby and Ross helped direct the Archbishop out of the driveway and into the road. A thankful Archbishop rolled down the window and declared to Ross that he would get the boy he wants! Come September, we'll see how much pull he has with the big guy!

Sunday was a nice escape to a smaller church, to being surrounded by the Body of Christ. We sat with a 26-year-old HIV patient, having her baby TODAY! We prayed for baby Kamille and for her mother. We saw old friends and felt the warmth of being "known." I remember when MK was first born, holding her during Mass. It was the biggest dream fulfilled- more than even having a baby, my dream was to hold that baby during Mass. As a tiny baby, we held her in that same small living room, with those same prayerful, holy sisters, and felt like we were with family.

What a wonderful little family reunion we had! I will make sure to get some current pictures next time. There isn't a luckier little girl than our Mary Kate for having these ladies love her so!

Vania has been with the sisters for many years, most recently battling kidney failure. She was not feeling well Sunday bit still stopped to kiss our girl.

Sr's Brunetta, Anunciela and Dominque- still loving MK almost 2 years later.

my most favorite stage

I have never been the mom to say "this is my favorite stage" to every stage. I don't know if I've said that even a handful of times. I love my child with every tiny ounce of my being, but I am by nature a little pessimistic so it takes a lot for me to be all "the world is perfect." It wasn't long ago that I wrote about my precious toddler monster. But today, I can safely say that 20 months is my most favorite stage.

20 months ago, I gave birth to a beautiful, tiny, high maintenance, car-seat hating, noctural baby. Today, I have a beautiful, petite, sometimes high maintenance, car-seat hating, non-noctural toddler. She is my glimpse into the life of someone who feels joy easily. Every day in recent weeks, I watch her, study her. And I get a little flicker of what I am sure is JOY.

There are many reasons this is my favorite stage but a few include:

• learning that there are two parents in this house and finally saying "mama" regularly. I have yet to grow tired of hearing my name of those little lips.
• her discovery of affection. Oh how she will hug you, kiss you, lay her head on your shoulder and say "awwww." But my favorite has to be when she grabs your face and pulls you forehead to forehead. Melting.
• how lovey dovey she gets when I pick her up from somewhere. Whether church nursery, mops, or her best friend's house, she walks in willingly. But she walks out oh so happy that I have indeed returned to get her. And she hugs and hugs and kisses me for a long while after we're gone.
• her memory is getting so good and I love the little sponge this child is becoming. Singing "yeah! Jesus" (yes, Jesus loves me, yes Jesus loves me) or ABCDEFG, or her current obsession, old macdonald, I adore watching that little brain work
• seeing and hearing her daddy teach her. Listenting to those two go over animal sounds or body parts or colors or words is precious. When I was pregnant with MK, Ross said he was most excited about teaching her. While I would argue that we have both been much more student than teacher, I am happy to see his dream come true.
• watching her with friends. Today at lunch, she and Joy Elizabeth made faces at each other, mimicking each other and cracking each other up. My little girl has a true friend and "Cakes" nor I could be any happier.
• watching her love her dog. Oh how I could live without a dog for the rest of my life. He is almost as good as a dog comes but he still drives me bonkers. But Mack makes MK and Ross so happy. And for that, he stays.
• This kid's zest for life, especially "ouside." What I would give for 1/100th of her energy and exploring little heart. I know this does not make her unique in the world of toddlers but what it does do is make her mama just a little more intrigued by the world. She loves nothing more than seeing a "cretty" flower or a "cretty" rock or making herself dizzy in the grass. She may look like me but kid has her daddy's everything else.
• Her love of a lap. If you are sitting on a floor, she will come from playing happily in another room to throw her legs over your hips and make herself comfortable. While this is terribly uncomfortable for mama and new baby, I happily endure it.
• I haven't witnessed this yet, but Ross said one of his favorite moments is at night when she is waiting on him to come in and begin reading to her. She has a cup of milk in hand and waits patiently next to the rocking chair, eager for him to sit down and begin their nightly ritual of reading and snuggling and teaching. What I love about it is their deep, deep bond and the most precious love between a father and his daughter.
• The name of Jesus coming off those lips. Y'all, nothing in the universe is as sweet as hearing my daughter say, "Jesus?" at a statue of St. Joseph in my in-laws church. Or pointing at any cross and confidently saying "Jeeeesus." I am waiting on the day she sees an older, long haired man and calls him Jesus. It is a daily reminder that she is a sponge and she will absorb whatever "food" we give her. My greatest prayer for her is that she know and deeply understand the words from Isaiah 41:10 "'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'" I pray my heart out that no matter where she is in life, she will feel the comfort of Jesus right next to her loving her and protecting her.

If I have said it before, I don't remember. But this is my favorite stage. Yes, we have moments of toddler monster but those grow fewer as she continues to learn to communicate at a rapid fire pace. I simply can't believe God gave her to us. The question that plagued me as an adolescent and young adult, "How could he possibly love me?" no longer exists. Simply watching that child for a few seconds tells me, "obviously He does."

her favorite place- with Mackey

little peanut still fits into last year's St. Pat's dress. Sweetest 20 month old in the world!

After a 30 minute power nap at ShaSha and Pops' house to celebrate ShaSha's 65th!

Reflections

A few months ago, our favorite padre asked me to contribute to what would become a Lenten booklet for college students. He knows well the love I have for that demographic and I was happy and ridiculously humbled to contribute. My assignment was to write a reflection on each Tuesday of Lent using scripture readings for the day. College students in our area have received actual print books but one of the other contributors, Rachel Balducci, (a bona fide author,) posted all of our daily reflections on Faith and Family Live. As Father Tim says, "Lent Hard."

Tuesday, February 28

Today’s readings remind us of the ever present comfort our Lord provides us during difficult times. Psalm 34 says, “When the just cry out, the LORD hears them, and from all their distress he rescues them.The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.”

How comforting are these words! Most of us have had our spirits crushed. We have known moments of despair. Many of us have looked into the face of someone we love and seen sadness. In this psalm, God validates us. He knows, better than anyone, the pain of a broken heart. He truly empathizes with us and He gives us hope. No matter how deep our pain, how lonely our nights, He will rescue us. He is close to the brokenhearted. He will save our crushed spirits. To all those suffering with illness, loneliness, betrayal, fear, insecurity, He is never as close as He is during these moments of pain. He is with you every single day, rebuilding your precious spirit.

It is in these times of pain that I find myself lacking the words to pray. Words don’t come. I know the answer lies in growing closer to Him but I can’t utter a thing. It is then that I find comfort in the prayer that Jesus himself gave us in Matthew 6—I don’t have to find the words. He gave us His: “Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name…”

Reflecting on those words reminds me during those dark nights that His will shall be done and that forgiveness of self or others, or receiving of forgiveness is usually a key to finding light again. He says, “Give us this day our daily bread.” What is beautiful about this is that He alone knows what “bread” we need. Maybe the homeless woman needs literal bread. Maybe the elderly woman needs the bread of comfort from a visitor. Maybe the addict needs the bread of restoration. Maybe the student needs focus and direction. Whatever our needs are, we simply pray that prayer and He will know exactly what bread to send.

The psalm today begins, “Glorify the LORD with me, let us together extol his name.” During this Lent, may we glorify God in moments of joy and in pain. For we trust the words from Holy Scripture that He hears all of our cries.
—Keri Ninness

This and That

• Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the holy season of Lent. While there are many things I need to give up (small embryo baby cannot live on doritos alone), I like this idea better. For your marriage, getting ready for lent has some wonderful ideas for a non-fasting mama or someone who wants to make lent more about Jesus and less about the torture of giving up chocolate. Can I tell you how happy it makes me to know Jesus would rather have my time than my iced animal cookies? Such a merciful God!
• I'm sure you've all seen this but for all of us Catholics trying to learn the new translation of the Mass, it's funny

• This week is the spring Mothers of Preschoolers Consignment Sale. I just left a shift of setting up and was blown away by the quality of the items, the pricing and the variety. Come see us Friday and Saturday. We are just inside Smyrna (about 3 minutes off the 75/285 interchange. See our facebook page for details.

• Like everyone else, I could not be more thankful for this non-winter. I have to say that knowing I will be 7-9 months pregnant this summer (Lord willing) makes me fear that our mild winter might mean a sweltering summer. But I won't worry about that yet. Instead, I'll enjoy afternoons like this:

• I am tempted to wear all black the rest of the week, in a serious state of mourning that Downton Abbey is gone. I have truly never loved a show so much and am so sad it is over. Oh the final scene of this season with Mary and Matthew, MELT ME!!!  Thankfully, the Atlanta-Journal came to the rescue with Reading: For life without Downton. I will be in my favorite second hand bookstore (The Book Stop) as soon as Consignment is over this week!
• That's about all the rambling I can muster for today. Back to my iced animal crackers and a little work to round out this Tuesday!

This baby's heart beats, too

Almost exactly two years ago, I heard Mary Kate's heart beat for the first time. The wonder of being a new mom and all signs pointing to a healthy baby overwhelmed me. I was so excited that my baby's heart did indeed beat. Today, that wonder and awe flooded back. Today, I heard my second baby's heart beat. Today I saw a beautiful little profile, a perfectly oversized head and little arms. Today, I realized I did not have an awful case of the flu, as I have felt for the last many weeks. What I do have is another glorious, blessed, God-given life inside of me.

There aren't words to convey my sheer gratitude at being able to create another life. Like many of us, my heart breaks into pieces for those for whom parenthood comes with more difficulty. When I feel like I will go crazy with one more minute of nausea or fatigue, I see the face of friends who would welcome that sickness with open arms. It is not pity, just a genuine ache for them to have their hearts' desires fulfilled. I am doing a much worse job than I had hoped of handling these discomforts with grace. But I have a husband who is simply heaven sent (who went out the other night in 35 degree weather at 9:30 pm to get me a popsicle) and a baby at the end of all this ickness.

To my next precious babe,

Thanks to your uber rambunctious sister (who has forgotten how to sleep through the night this week?!?),  I don't spend as much time reflecting on the miracle that you are as I should. But today, I saw your profile and heard your heartbeat and cried at exactly that- the miracle you are.  You are the next integral piece to our family and your dad and I could not be more thrilled that somewhere around September 19th, we will see your sweet face. You are loved beyond words, beyond measure. Welcome to the world little person!

the first photo of my precious second baby

and your big sis. She is wonderful and wild and I am so thankful to give her the gift of a sibling (you may not consider her a gift at times but that will come later, I'm sure!)

Becoming the right woman

I recently read a beautiful post by Ann Voskamp who wrote "I married the right man because God can make me the right woman." Marriage is complex and wonderful and exhausting and beautiful and heart-wrenching and refining and a million other things mixed together. But what I'm realizing a big bad 2.5 years into this gig is that God absolutely can make me into the right woman for this wonderful man. It may take a little more humility than I am often willing to give, but it is absolutely possible. So tonight, I am trading in the yoga pants for a dress (okay, clean jeans). I am trading in the sticky banana on my face for real makeup. I am trading the ponytail for some actual hair product. I am trading the left-overs for a new home-cooked meal and a quick once-over for a bona fide cleaned home. I am trading tired mommy for energized wife. I will trade any temptation for criticism for grace and love. I will trade any impatience for patience. Tonight, I will practice being the right woman for my unbelievably wonderful husband. I might even watch Hannity with him. MIGHT.

To my Valentine, even had you not brought home a bunch of chocolate and these (aforementioned little beauties--see number 2-- )  I'd still want to be the right wife for you, today and always. But naturally, this helped! Being at home with our little creature is the biggest blessing in the world, but it is easy to become all mommy and less wife. You deserve much more than you get most days but give to us both so endlessly. There are two girls in this house who are so happy to have you as their Valentine. We love you!

love Big Valentine

and your little Valentine, too