"you cannot impart what you do not possess"

So I'm sitting here, enjoying a glass of wine and some dark chocolate, a new book in hand. It was a good day. I spent my morning at my new MOPS group and am already seeing such fruit from those women and my role there. I had a sweet afternoon with my mother-in-law and cleaned my house while she entertained my gal. On my second attempt, I registered for a bible study in time to get MK in their childcare. Some kind friends accepted my plea to help me pass the witching hour over Mexican while R is away on business. Mary Kate went down without so much as a peep. It was a very good day and my heart is full.

The new book is Tender Mercy for a Mother's Soul. Through a path that could only be paved by God alone, I have found myself on the steering committee of my moms group. After 2 meetings there, they had a need for their childcare coordinator, and knowing I wanted to be more involved, I blindly volunteered. In a few short weeks, I am seeing so many blessings from that push from the Holy Spirit. The book is being read by the steering committee and used during one of our twice monthly meetings as a meeting/bible study. I read two chapters tonight over the chocolate and wine. And whether the urge is coming from the sugar rush or the happiness from an easy day, I really felt the need to get this down.

I know the reviews on this book are just starting, but it took all of 4 pages for me to be smacked. "We cannot impart what we do not possess." Holy. cow. I stopped and thought of what I most want to impart to MK. Without too much introspection, I came up with 3 things. 1. self-confidence, peace in who she is as a person. 2. healthy and active- for nutrition and physical activity to just be a part of her normal life.3. for her to know Jesus and feel His warmth, love, and protection every day of her life.

Now- to the 'we must possess' part. Ouch. I think I want these things for MK because I want them for myself. I crave peace in who I am, self-acceptance and confidence that God made me and loves me for who I am. I so want to really treat my body as a temple and give what it needs (right now it needs chocolate), rather than focusing on a jeans size. And I want to really, really feel Christ every minute of the day- not just during evening prayers with MK or at Sunday Mass. Ross teases me that while I say I will fill this house with fruits and veggies, I'll have a stash of Little Debbie's under the bed. "Fine," I tell him, our kids will (insert my mom's favorite line), "do as I say and not as I do." Well folks, I have known my daughter for 4 months and 8 days. And I can already tell you that she is not going to buy that line of crap for one minute. The book is right. If I don't possess it, if I don't live it, she's not gonna get it.

Good thing the answer is pretty straight-forward. If I see myself as God sees me, I will be filled with confidence. If I truly believe that God gave me this body to use for good, I will treat it as such and fuel it with nutrition and exercise and the necessary splurge when the time is right (like right now.). And If I let Jesus into every mundane, repetetive, monotonous task of the stay-at-home mom day, my girl will grow up seeing Jesus through her mom (God willing!!) As the author writes "The goal for your real life is a family who honors God with children who become independent, spiritually healthy adults who love Jesus." Can I get an Amen now!

Okay, bedtime. Today was too easy. I have a feeling my renewed thoughts on raising the gal are going to be tested at about 6:10 am :)

Love, love this girl!!