We are a few days shy of Master Ninness's one month birthday and are happy to report that we're all still alive and well. A few thoughts, admittedly to get the mushy husband post off the home screen...
- As I sat to write, both kids woke up from their naps. MK is yelling "mommy, mommy" despite the benadryl I
drugged administered before nap. Crapola.
- One of my host families told me that going from 1-2 kids didn't generate twice the work, it generated 20x the work. Um. Yep.
- Our dryer broke last week, upping the work load to 30x it's previous level. It's fixed now but there are 4,245 articles of clothing to be washed and dryed, almost all requiring pre-treating and almost all the result of some newborn bodily function.
- I am not the girl who gives 100%. Sometimes I do, and when it's absolutely necessary, I do. But mostly, I do what it takes to get by. Not proud, but just a humble admission. I am not a details girl and don't get bothered by a to-do list. But this new season, whoa. Even me, in my "I'd rather spend the time watching re-runs of the cancelled Real housewives of D.C." mode, is getting annoyed. I am in a constant place of playing catch up and things never seem to be finished. The to-do list that I previously didn't care about, or the one that got completed because of the one kid thing, is now my achilles heel. It drives me crazy that the work never seems to be finished. But since we don't think we're finished having babies, I assume I'll always feel behind. I'll just choose to get used to that feeling rather than, you know, attempt to complete the danged list.
- I have read some things that I loved lately. I love Simcha and all she writes but this part made me feel oh so much better. "Don't underestimate how much being tired affects you. Being chronically tired month after month, even year after year--and maybe feeling like your husband doesn't fully understand just how tired you are--it has a cumulative effect on your spirit. You don't even know how tired you are after a while. But it makes you stupid, and sad, and discouraged." Emphasis on the last line please.
- While feeling like mean mommy the other day and hoping MK doesn't feel totally rejected (especially when she spends 1/3 of her life in the corner these days), I read something from one of my favorite blogs, Memories on Clover Lane. She wrote it in a different context but this line touched my heart. "I also think it's important for them to learn that babies are life changers and require gentle, tender loving care from their mommies who need to be with them in order to do that. Life as we know it should stop a little and honor this brand new life that we have been so blessed with." I like the little push it gave me to be okay with hunkering down and being a little less rushed, a little less 'on the go' and to be okay with MK having a
lot little more Ipad time.
- While we're on the topic of encouragement, I got the non-cyber type last week at a prayer group that my friend Natalie has started. It lasts one hour, has way cheap childcare, and is simply for the purposes of getting together and praying for each other as women. It. was. phenomenal. In the middle of a crazy hectic week last week, it brought me back down to earth, gave my soul a life and made me take the deep breath I desperately needed in that second week of newborn life. One of the girls in my break-off group suggested Philippians 4:8. "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." I have reflected on these words a thousand times since then. It helps me divert my thoughts from how many consecutive MINUTES I slept last night to thinking about the sweetness in my arms during the HOURS I was awake. It helps me not think about things of the past and focus on the gifts of the present. It helps me remember that God gave me these blessings and intends for me to see them as such (even if I mostly see the back of the head of the older blessing since she's in the corner alll day.)
- Last week my dear friend Chrissie dropped by on her tour de Georgia from Charlottesville. We were talking and she mentioned something her pastor said. "You can love all the right things but in the wrong order." We talked about this in many contexts but it made an impression on me. I'd also add the idea that you can do all the right things but in the wrong order. For me, it boils down to making sure I love God first (and act on that love in scripture study, prayer time, etc), husband second (and act on that love in ways that don't include crying about how tired I am), children next and so on. Let's be real and know that most days, I have that list backwards and in some seasons, caring for your kids simply takes up every last stinking drop of energy/love/affection left in your body. But I like the reminder and hope it kicks my butt into putting the right order.
- Today some sweet friends put together a sitter share. For the price of two combos at Chick-fil-A, I dropped MK off with a sitter she knows, friends she loves and I bolted. I listened to my own music and drove in peace. I then at lunch with a precious friend, again, in peace. I hate to spend money on sitters during the week because I do feel like this mommy gig is my job. But this mommy gig is also kicking my arse these days so a break was as refreshing as the sweet tea for lunch.
- Speaking of sweet tea, how am I the only person to not know you can purchase this in the DECAF version?? Joni might be the most talented nursery designer I've ever seen and one of the trendiest mommies I know, but introducing me to decaf sweet tea,? Nobel prize please. Also, there goes the .2 oz of water I was drinking a day. My body won't know what to do without the 742 oz of aspertame it gets from the diet coke, caffeine free diet coke, and crystal light tea. Yes, I'm a foul excuse for a milk producer and human being.
- Okay, so I shouldn't drink so much caffeine/aspertame because of the whole nursing thing but I'm going to risk jinxing myself and say that my son is a tank and mommy has super milk. I braved the pediatrician with both kids and MK's ipad/appendage this week and was blown away to see an increase from 6lb 14oz to 8lbs 6oz in two weeks. I don't think I'd survive if I were up all hours and the kid weren't gaining. From MK, I know how hard the nursing deal can be and I'm so thankful that this isn't one of our current challenges. Stay tuned for next week when the mammary gods have me writing about how awful nursing has become.
- My husband, who is almost as frugal as I am, told me to offer my sister an insane amount of money to come organize little Tom's bedroom. He was serious. And this should show, as my friend Christina would say, how "cray cray" our house is right now.
- We are in our final week of being blessed by meals from my MOPS group. While I only know how to generate 3.4 meals (.4 being hot dogs), I will now make sure I bring some sort of sustenance to each new mom in my group. I had no idea how much this act, easy for some, herculean for others like me, can bless a tired mom. It makes those witching hours not so witching and is one less thing to tackle on the to-do list that never gets touched. I am serious, I never got how much this blesses a family and am so, so thankful, especially since I'd rather change poopy diapers all day than plan and execute a meal.
- I abhor the after baby body. If I were focusing on my Philippians verse above, I'd be all zen about how the extra skin around my tummy housed that precious boy but I'm not feeling zen. And I'm going to stop there because complaining about this is too self-indulgent and, quite honestly, bitchy. Even for the queen of self-indulgence.
- I'm not doing a lot of facebook status posting because I'm always tempted at 4 am and I promised myself that I wouldn't post anything during the middle of the night. As mama used to say, "nothing good happens (or posts) after midnight." That said, today I had to post about a precious little sight. After a less dreadful night with Thomas, I got both kids up, hoping to give Ross a little extra shut-eye. When I came out of changing T, I saw him on the sofa, asking MK to hold her baby Emmie. He proceeded to hold Emmie, rocking her and talking sweetly to her. Watching my daughter and her father melts me into a puddle.
- Today I asked Ross if my pre-baby spandex pants were "too much" from the backside view. He answered honestly. He left for work. I cried. Then I called him and cried. He realized he fell into the "does my butt look big" trap that every man knows. He apologized. I apologized for being a hormonal freakshow. He assured me all was forgotten. I wrapped a jacket around the inappropriate yoga pants and continued on my day.
- Okay, off to tackle a few items on the to-do list while both kids have blissfully found their way back to sleep...
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| love this little guy and his receding hairline |
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