Friday, March 1, 2013

7 quick reasons stay at home moms should leave the house daily

--- 1 ---
Not having left the house today as of 12:50 in the pm, I am reminded of why stay at home moms should leave the house once per day. Costco, the drive thru at McD's or even the place your husband begs you not to enter, Publix. If you stay at home with your children, leave the house for your own reasons, if not for these.
--- 2 ---
*assuming you are a decent human being, which I am, most days*, leaving the house requires brushing of teeth, hair, and wearing of a brassiere. It also requires brushing of at least hair of pine straw headed toddler. For this little outing, you and your family can no longer be mistaken for hobos living in a tent on a commune.
--- 3 ---
Leaving the house increases the chances you will talk to another adult. You can practice using 4 syllable words and expressions other than that made by a monkey and his yellow hatted friend.
--- 4 ---
Leaving home helps you practice legitimate and proper discipline. My friend Rachel has said that on bad days with her kids, she responds to them as if someone else were watching her. When I try this, I am much less likely to threaten to flush MK down the toilet. I've never threatened that. ahem. That said, going out of the house has me practice all the things the "experts" tell you to do. Sometimes it works. Sometimes MK looks at me like "when you are you going to threaten me with that empty goofy sounding threat again."
--- 5 ---
Exercise. On days when the only walking I do is to wipe a toddler's bum (how many times can the girl poo in one day????), going out requires that I lift two people in and out of carseats and grocery carts. That totally counts as at least half a body bar class at Ladies First Fitness Athens. (out of business since 2004).
--- 6 ---
Getting out of the house means that I will catch at least 3 stoplights during which time I will apply 4 year old mascara, blush via a lipstick tube, and a quick pinking of the lips. Ross can totally tell when I've done the redlight makeover but it is still miiiiles beyond what he normally gets.
--- 7 ---
Lastly, getting out of ye old casa means that  for the duration of time we're gone, my house isn't being destroyed with stickers, crushed goldfish or 200 diapers for 2 naked baby dolls. Any hope of a semi neat home depends on letting the kid trash someone else's home or retail establishment.
On that note, after nap trip planned to costco for veggie pizza and a big arse bottle of wine. Happy Friday!
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