The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Let's keep the glass half full and start with the good, shall we?

• Tomorrow is a very important day as we celebrate the birth of a very important person. My grandmother introduced me to Father Tim McKeown over ten years ago and in those many years, he has been friend, mentor, spiritual advisor, father figure, cool uncle, counselor, cheerleader and encourager. As a birthday gift, if you feel so inclined, would you say this prayer? Whether you are Catholic or not, priests, like all faith leaders, need and depend upon our prayers for them. Graci.

MK on her Baptism day with her "Fadder Tim"

 

• More good. We are still pregnant. Thanks to the fervent prayers of many, including Padre Tim, we have pretty well baked little gremlin and find ourselves pretty prepared to welcome this newest Ninness creature.
• We did not get kicked out of Mass today.
• One of my dearest dearest friends is pregnant. Don't ask me who she is but I've been praying my rear off for her for a long time. Just know if you are one of the people hoping for baby, don't give up.
• Our house is finally painted and noone was killed during the process. Marriage still (mostly) in tact, contractor is receiving no more "I'm going into labor" texts from me and only a few of the walls have already been stained by MK fingers. 

The Bad:

• Ross and MK were on the bike Thursday, (in a very safe, very recommended, very researched child's seat) and a tire on  the bike blew. Both my babes took a nasty fall and Mary Kate has re-told the story 4,245 times. "I fell down daddy's tractor." "Dada boo boo, Mary Tate boo boo." It was probably my hardest night as a parent, watching my girl hurt and hurt and not being able to do a thing about it. It's those moments when I have to sit and pray for a supernatural comfort, since mama can't take away the pain. Thank goodness for helmets, foresight in putting MK in pants and a husband who kept presence of mind to absorb most of the fall. It could have been so much worse.
• Ross's idea to go to Mass tonight. Possibly prompted by his hope that Jesus would cure my foul mood, we braved a Mass without a nursery. WHEN WILL WE LEARN?? The priest definitely called MK out (jokingly/kindly/but with a tinge of please take that kid out). She did try to get cute and ask "I go see Jesus" because there is a cross in the atrium. Um, no kid. There is a cross behind Father, too. In the rare occasion that we are stupid enough to take her to a Mass without a nursery, we grade her. Today she got a D. It was generous. And it prevented the dinner out we had planned. (Mama's foul mood returned...)
• I am contracting just irregularly enough to not call the doc. This means I'm generally in some state of pain, always in some state of discomfort, and (as stated above) in a foul mood. I am fine with a few more weeks sans non-sleeping newborn but wish I could enjoy it. Yes, whine whine.

The UGLY.

• 38 weeks pregnant on this body. There's just nothing cute anymore. It's a lot o belly y'all.
• Name discussions for this kid. As I complained on fb (after complaining about people complaining in status updates), name conversations have been very not pretty. As Ross reminded me, starting these discussions late into the evening on the 2nd evening of college football probably isn't advisable. But I'm gonna quote my very smart sister-in-law in hopes that husband will read and agree "you carried it. you name it. done." I'll add " I carried it, I layed on my tush for 10 weeks. If I want to name it Brad Pitt I can."  I used to love naming my baby dolls. I never imagined that my dream husband would have completely opposite taste in names. Probably good he kept that a secret before we got married :)
• My child's behavior at 2. Tonight Ross was on "muzzle the banshee" duty at Mass and I was about to walk out and call it a night before the end of Mass (sorry Father Tim.) But I heard a voice, oddly similar to Sister Pat's, that said to "sit down." So I sat and used a few minutes to, gasp, actually pray. Without realizing it, I prayed "please help this baby be born healthy, grow strong, and skip age 2." I wasn't consciously praying it. It just came out. I am trying to remember something I read that reminded moms to not think an illy behaved child means you are a bad mother any more than a well behaved child means you are a good mother. But whoa is parenting this kid  killing  stretching me. Many times, I'll give her a direction and she'll glance at me, sweetly, knowingly, and do the opposite. I think I'm being pretty consistent with consequences and lots of positive reinforcement but it's the knowing glance that kills me. What IS that? Original sin? a demon possessing her presh little body? a side effect of too many "just be quiet" animal crackers? ugh.
• Brian Van Gorder's mustache and the next few months of college football. I am a big fan of the Van Gorder family and am happy to have Coach Van G back in the SEC but the stache is killing me. And on that topic, don't go defriending me but I'm just not that into college football. I love the fall but admittedly care more about MK's SEC wardrobe than the results of the game. I need to get onboard fast if I have any hope of MK learning "go dawgs" the way she knows "go gamecocks." Guess it's a good thing I'll be busy feeding humans 24/7 for the next few months. At least I won't be bored.

the toms were her idea. i fought for white sandals. should have known what Mass would be like when she started yelling for "red shoes mama!!!"

wearing the same pillow case dress she wore at 2 months old.
and yes, mama needs a new phone.

Ramblings and suggestions needed

My goal is to try to get something on paper besides 7 quick takes Friday each week but I'm very busy waddling around, translating toddler talk, and thinking about where my next drive-thru experience will be. With a baby coming any day now, I'm trying to soak up time with my girl and enjoy the 2 hrs of sleep I get in between potty breaks. I am officially full-term now and that deserves a way lot more than one sentence. Before its scheduled eviction in a few weeks, this babe could be born on any number of special days. It could share a birthday with my grandma, Fr. Tim, cousin Ben or the Virgin Mary. It could be born on Mother Teresa's feast day or Katrina and Cory's anniversary. Since that anniversary is the soonest, it's clearly got my vote.
                    
                    ----break to read the Very Busy Spider. 3 times.------

Okay I'm back. I even did the noises. Mother of the year up in here! Anywho. I'm trying to spend the days doing things I won't be doing for a few weeks while I perpetually feed little humans. I splurged on a babysitter yesterday to redeem my mother's day gift from MK and get a pre-natal massage. And folks, we may have found a cure for the fast food addiction. I'm about to do the math on how many chicken strips or big teas I'd have to give up to get a massage each month. Now, that massage made me so hungry that I raced home (also so as not to pay the sitter another bazillion dollars.) and grabbed MK for a chick-fil-a lunch. (painters were back. I had a good excuse. this time.) And back to the sitter? I had a master's degree and a big girl job and didn't charge for 2 kids what this girl, precious as she was, charged for one. Good news is I had noooo problem asking her to make sure the house wasn't a wreck when I got home. Clean house, happy baby, massaged mama = worth the cost of a CHOPS dinner.

So, my question for y'all, especially newer mamas or those with good memories, what would you suggest I do these next days that I'll wish I did once perpetual eater comes home? And don't say sleep. Baby is positioned inside my bladder apparently so even with the blessing of tylenol pm, sleep is not happenin'. Don't say take a walk either. Baby is only halfway still indoors so walking is way not comfortable (hence the DRIVE-THRU.)

A few photos of days a la team Ninness...

Love this bed head, especially when it follows a  long nap. Not to be confused with the last week of bed head following no nap.

after Church last week. "off off! she begs of her church clothes." Apparently mom's necklace is all that is needed for some morning play time.

And this is what it looks like when a woman 9 months pregnant tries to get ready to go anywhere besides the mailbox. If you see me and I'm not wearing inappropriately tight shorts, yoga pants or a night gown, consider yourself on the same level as the queen of England.

Okay- off to buy diapers and Clorox 2 (I had no idea what this was and have since been nominated worst housewife in the history of housewives.) If it doesn't get out McDonald's fries grease stains, someone is paying me back for this thing of detergent/stain remover/whatever the heck it is.)

 

7 quick takes Friday, 36 week edition

--- 1 ---

I am 36 weeks and 3 days pregnant! And you know the best part about that (besides that whole thisclose to full term thing?) Weekly doctor's appointments.  And why, you ask, is that so super-fantastic. Because it means that once a week I get to drive. alone. Without hearing "new song! new song please! new song now mama!" on repeat from the back seat. My child like her father fancies herself a music mogul and is simply not down with Casting Crowns. Sorry whoever the lead singer is of this wonderful band. Alone car time is one of the small luxuries I am learning to l.o.v.e. Poke me, prod me, violate my dignity in any way you choose. Just give me an excuse to drive alone!

--- 2 ---

Another great thing about weekly doc appointments is that they give me an excuse to go through the drive-thru for a snack. As I was in line for my egg mcmuffin minus the egg and big sweet tea yesterday, I realized that it is kind of disgusting how often I am talking to humans through an intercom. Okay, so totally for another post, but Ross and I have a great system for spending money that the other person might find frivolous, unnecessary, or down right gross. Email me for more details but in all seriousness, this one financial decision might be in the top 3 best decisions we've made in our marriage. The only problem is, there is no paper trail of my drive-thru addiction. And I'm starting to think I may need some accountability. Maybe I'd do it less if during monthly budget reviews I had to see his face as he saw 45 charges to name your favorite fast food and I guarantee I've had it this week. I also think that a reminder that mama could buy just about any shoes she wanted with the money she spends on transfats and drinks that rust nails might help me reduce. I don't think I have the discipline to let Ross in on my little nasty habit but come time to get rid of baby weight, I might need some help!

--- 3 ---

While I do have an abominable addiction to any and all fast food, this week I had a good excuse. We have had painters here that were naturally supposed to finish Tuesday evening and will be back this morning. They have been mostly wonderful but I haven't had access to my house or kitchen and I have a toddler and I was on bedrest for the first part of the week. Um. yuck. We ate out every single meal and I am pretty close though don't hold your breath to being dunzo with eating out. Anyway, I was gettin' uber cranky with the week and with every human I came into contact with. I sent Ross off to tennis Wednesday night with a few snarky remarks and put myself to bed early. I prayed to God, telling him that I knew I was being a total jerk and needed to, as my dad would say, get my butt off my shoulders. In sweeter terms, I needed to wake up with a new, kinder, more grateful heart. So I put my crappy attitude to bed and woke up early. Ross and baby were still asleep so I perused twitter and the very first tweet was from Fr. Larry Richards. He posts scripture daily and I kid you not, the first thing I read after that evening prayer was " I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you." (Ezekiel 36:26). Y'all, it was uncanny. A big "hey, kid, I'm right here" from God. Naturally, yesterday was a whole lot better.

--- 4 ---

Now, speaking of reading scripture via twitter, I'm wondering if this is a good use of technology or a pathetic cop out?  I was delightfully surprised to see my friend Ashley N at the coffee house Wednesday morning and we mentioned the ever present need for quiet time with God. I sheepishly admitted to her that the bulk of my scripture reading lately has been via twitter courtesy of some techno-hip priests, nuns and more spiritual than I lay people. Now, I totally believe that there is no substitute for sitting your behind down and opening the Bible. Especially if you want your kid to grow up doing that too. I was going to say, "but" but I won't. Writing this makes me feel like a goob. I may not be ready for accountability in the fast food department but mark my words people, I will open la Biblia today. (tho will probably also peruse my 140 character scripture too. I am sensing a "fast" theme here. ouch.)

--- 5 ---

Totally unrelated but I went to the doc yesterday and am even closer to having this baby. I slept awfully last night because seeing as how I'm halfway to being ready to push, I am petrified that by the time we get someone here to to take care of MK and get down to the hospital, there will be no time for my epidural. I am waaay scared of a natural birth and may God bless all of you who have done it. Seriously. One day I want that kind of courage but not this go around. I am thankful that my body is willing to dilate (well, maybe not so thankful since it started at 26 weeks!) but we need contractions for the hospital to let me in the door. I just posted about being secure that God has this in His control. But today, I'm less sure. Aforementioned opening of la Biblia should help. Please.

--- 6 ---

I will write a big sappy post once this baby is here about all that bedrest has taught us, about how it has changed me and my marriage to Ross, and about how hugely I have seen how God loves me through other people. It baffles me that in the throws of dark young adult years, I questioned His ability to love me. This week alone, 3 friends, one of them family, have stepped in to care for MK while we gave baby brother or sister one last push at a healthy start. My OB was smiling from ear to ear, hugging me she was so excited that we're here. To every one of you who has dropped off food, picked up my kid, entertained her, loved her when I couldn't or needed a break or taken a few minutes to pray for us, thank you will never be enough. I do believe that the greatest gift you can give someone is to let them see Jesus bigger, brighter, more clearly. He is oh so big and bright and clear to me now because of each of you. Whoa crying.

--- 7 ---

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

I can't. You can. And you promised.

Recently, I read about a talk that Monsignor Richard Lopez gave to an incoming freshman class at St. Pius X high school. One of the students was my dear friend Melanie's daughter and Msgr. Lopez encouraged the new high schoolers to learn this very important prayer.
"I cant. You can. And you promised."

First, a little background on Msgr. Lopez. He is to the Catholic community in Atlanta who Chipper Jones is to the Braves. Well, minus the 50 trips to the dl. You just can't imagine one the without the other. Anyway, he is a genius with a homily;  funny, fast and fiercely convicting. The perfect combo. Plus he has more than 30 years as a high school teacher and knows you've got about 2 minutes to get any point across. So a 7 word prayer is so him. And it's so me, especially in this current season of life.

I've thought about it a lot lately, as I try to navigate a very busy, very uncertain time. Oh, and while I also try to teach my child to "listen and obey." Holy toddlerdom.

So I read Msgr. Lopez's prayer the other night and came up with my list of can'ts. Not surprisingly, it's lengthy. For your viewing pleasure.

• I can't plan the day or hour of this baby's birth.
• I can't translate every roundhouse kick to the rib or lower abdominal pain to decipher "contraction or not."
• I can't worry any more about a baby delivered by Ross (will spare the menfolk details about dilation, etc but my body is about d.o.n.e. housing this kid)
• I can't, on my own, keep this babe from a NICU stay.
• I can't make the painters in our house work any faster (though I've considered feigning contractions just to see)
• I can't make my toddler 'listen and obey' every time.
• I can't "look" like a good mother in public. Ever, apparently.
• I can't prevent a middle of the night labor, even if that means inconveniencing the heck out of a crazy super sweet friend, taking her up on her offer to come over in the middle of the night.

BUT.
You (He) can. As I take the deepest breath writing this, I realize the truth in that statement. HE can. Peace out worry and trouble (for the next 2 minutes, anyway). I may not have this, but HE most certainly does. HE knows the second of this baby's birth. He knows the amount of seconds babe may spend in the NICU and knows the plan for this kid's life. He even cares about the paint job in our home that may (PLLLLLEASE) help us sell it. HE hears my prayers to know for certain if I'm in labor and has a plan for its birth that I'm pretty sure doesn't end up with Ross being an OB for halloween. He can mold my daughter's heart into a kind, obedient one with occasional use of an unprompted please and thank you. He just might even be able to remind her to say 'yes ma'am and no 'ma'am.' He can continue to humble me as I parent MK, to convict me of my own minutely disobedience and to show mercy to me, as a child and a parent. And He can even take care of all the details should we end up in the hospital at 2am. HE CAN.

And yes, He promised.

"For men this is impossible, but for God all things are possible." Mt 19:26
"You stretch out your Hand and save me." Ps 138.7
"He has come to the help of his servant Israel for he has remember his promise of mercy." Lk 1:54
"Nothing will be impossible for you." Mt 17:20
"the Lamb Himself will be their shepherd and will lead them to the springs of living waters." Rev 7:17
"Be of good courage. He shall strengthen your hear, All you who hope in the Lord." Ps 31:24.

So today, we're uttering simple prayers. Most of thanksgiving, some with a pleading heart, all with the assurance that someone hears each of them.

And as today marks the most momentous 36 week milestone, a thank you for all of you who have prayed us to this point. 10 weeks ago we were begging for this day. We're here and if I didn't think the baby would fall right out of me, I'd jump for joy!!

totally unrelated. just her newest must have in the car. Someone's heard "rumors" about mom's driving!

Likes and Dislikes

pic borrowed from facebooklikeexchange.com

Likes this week:

• Baby's still baking
• MOPS started and was awesome. LOVE that group of ladies!
• Mary Kate's first unprompted "wud you mama." (love you mama)
• Ann Voskamp's 10 ways to be a happier mom
• newborn size diapers
• a friend randomly dropping off cupcakes from McEntyre's bakery
• another friend offering her house for us to use while we stupidly tackle a last minute house project
• another friend assuring me she'll leave her babe and husband at home and come to my house should we go into labor at night. So humbled by the generosity of this offer and so relieved we won't be schlepping MK out at night.
• family dinner out with my favorite man and favorite girl





pic borrowed from donthatethegeek.com



• My body gettin' real serious about an exit plan for baby. Back on bedrest for another week, maybe 2.
• Facebook timeline. I have until August 22 to decide if I'm dunzo with fb or if I want life with a timeline. Serious problems up in here.
• 3rd trimester hormones and resulting exasperated husband
• women who complain about being sooo ready to have a baby, as if newborns are a slice of apple pie.
• that I have turned into that woman, especially knowing what kind of newborn I birth (yes, every kid is different. nope, still no hope of birthing an easy baby.)
• share it to win it facebook posts
• my current prayer life. Despite needing it more than ever, I'm in a slump.
• the inability to do some fun, family of 3 activities before baby comes. I know healthy baby trumps all but still sad. Will just work harder to make the little moments at home special.
 

 
 

Give Thanks

Give thanks with a grateful heart

Give thanks to the Holy One

Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son

And now let the weak say, "I am strong"

Let the poor say, "I am rich"

Because of what the Lord has done for us

We give thanks to You oh Lord

We give thanks

 

33 weeks pregnant with a very healthy, perfect little baby. Big, ugly cry of thanksgiving today. I am so overwhelmed by how good God is, by how giving our friends are, how loving our family is. There are, indeed, so many reasons to give thanks today.

 

 

Top Eleven

Top Ten eleven things I am waaay, waaay over right now:

1. 2 year molars and the accompanying no sleeping, congestion, runny nose and general misery they cause. Also the fact that they are apparently so named because they take 2 friggin years to come in.
2. The Chick-fil-a story. I'm thinking Syria, the number of kids lingering in foster care or Bloomberg wanting to lock up formula deserve a little air time too.
3. Summer. It's hot. I'm as huge as our power bill which is freakishly big.
4. Heartburn and shortness of breath. Yes, yes, I'd go through it 400 times for this baby but it doesn't mean I'm not over it.
5. Complaints on facebook status updates (not to be confused with complaining on blogs.) Phone a friend, people. Per your profile, you have 2,482 of them.
6. Summer tv. I anticipate that the best thing about having a fall baby is a dvr full of new episodes just waiting on the 2 am feeding.
7. Dog hair.
8. Bed rest.
9. Mary Kate asking for 'crackers' though nothing remotely resembling a cracker meets the definition of what the heck a cracker is in her toddler brain.
10. Baby name discussions. Previously one of my all time favorite topics, now a reason to bang my head on a wall.
11. Cellulite.