Yesterday, THESE LADIES
called THESE PEOPLE
to help with this
well, actually, they called me, to get to HIM
but seeing as how he works way up north, and how I work 10 minutes from them, and how I am the very arrogant daughter of a mechanic, I said, I can jump off your van. My only concern was the way the sisters park their van in their very narrow, steep driveway and my ability to get my car around it. But, rather than having R drive south, I figured I should try first.
So, success numero uno. I did get my car around their van. Good thing, because the exact same model car could NOT get around it this morning, even after ripping off a part of the SIDING of their HOME. Sister attributes it to my 'getting angles.' Sister is deluded (all respect due here).
Success numero dos. Despite making sparks with the cables (sorry little baby) and the 20 tries it took to 'angle' my car close enough to the van, we were able to finally stretch the jumper cables to fit.
Problem numero uno. Each time I put the cable on their battery, their car alarm went off. Loudly. And the three pair of ears under the hood are now ringing.
Success numero tres. Common sense finally kicks in and I realize I have to shut off the car alarm with the key. Again, sorry little baby.
Problem numero dos. Despite all my 'mechanic's daughter tricks/ suggestions from my husband, the car won't turn over.
Okay, so we realize the van has been dead for three days now and either the battery it totally kaput, or it's another problem. One of the patients in the house, who may or may not have experience dismantling cars, begins yelling at me that it's the starter, not the battery. In my hope that this is not the case, I turn the car over again while Sister MJ holds the phone for Ross to hear the sound. He thinks battery too and while I'm inclined to believe the one with the criminal record, my optimism chooses the less expensive vehicular problem.
So we decide we will take the battery out of the car and take it in to recharge. Ross tells me he can't see under their hood and to use 'common sense' in figuring out how to dismantle it. Now it's not Sister who is deluded. If I were smart, this is where I would have handed my camera to one of the patients to begin taking pictures of the big, pregnant lady and the two nuns under the hood of a mini-van trying to extract a battery.
After many different wrench changes (these nuns have a rocking tool box), with one of us holding a flashlight, as we are now doing this in the dark, we get the positive cable unscrewed. The negative one, well, well. After 30 or so attempts, I take my turn again, leaning preggo belly over the hood and the sisters start saying the Memorare. This is a beautiful prayer and it makes me smile that while I am trying not to yell expletives at the screw that WILL NOT COME LOOSE, the sisters and I are now begging for Mary's intercession :) "Don't cuss now, don't cuss now" keeps going through my head. It worked, thankfully.
As we are about to give up, I am walking down the driveway to stretch out for a second. And then, like any good Christian girl, I see two cute, non-threatening-looking boys walking down the street to a bar and decide to pick them up. They hesitate to walk over to crazy pregnant woman, but I ran across the street and start laying on thick the "Mother Teresa's nuns, AIDS patients' story when I realize one of them is a Grady resident. And then I simply use blackmale, threatening to never help him discharge another patient. It works, and the two, sweet 'frat-looking' boys trudge up the driveway, I'm sure disappointed that they are not having their pint at Hand-in Hand. After asserting that they 'are not really good with cars' (if you saw them, you'd know, these are precious silver-spoon kind of boys), thankfully their pride and testosterone kicked in and with one swoop, they un-loosened the stupid bolt. Insert really annoyed nuns and pregnant lady. We thank them and send them on the way to their ladies with a promise to expedite all his patients out of the hospital.
So, today Ross has the battery and will soon be taking it to Sears. And hopefully he will be the one taking it back dowtown to re-insert into the van. Because I'm prrrrety sure I can't get through another Memorare without cussing.
Oh the memories we create....