95. 95 hundred prayers answered. 95 buckets of tears poured out. 95 questions of "how and why?" 95 percent chance of survival.
Today we saw the perinatologist again. And he told me that he fully believes we will get to full-term. Our baby is 2 lbs, 14 oz and my body is no longer actively trying to evict this little angel. If our baby were born today, there would be a 95 percent chance he or she would survive. It took some time to set in but as I explained all this to Ross, I began to cry. "Our baby's going to live. Our baby is going to live." I did not realize how much fear I was holding in until the relief flowed from my eyes.
We still have a journey ahead of us, another 2 months of bed rest, another 2 months of the possibility that we could be in the NICU with baby. We know we are not out of the woods yet. God has long ago decided the course of this little baby's life and we don't yet know what that is. Prayers should and must continue. They are the reason we have come this far.
20 days ago I sat in a hospital bed on my birthday trembling in fear. I sent a few emails and made one or two calls that first night to prayer warriors in my life. Since then, heaven has been stormed on behalf of this baby. Y'all, I talk a lot about prayer. I say I believe in it. I profess it. I do it. But never have I relied on it so heavily. Never have I depended on the results of it so profoundly. Never have I felt it so tangibly.
I marveled today, almost in disbelief. It worked. Their prayers worked. They prayed for me. And it worked. They honored ME, cared enough for ME to give ME their precious time and words. And it worked. HE answers prayers. (duh). But really, he does. My baby is going to live because THEY prayed and HE answered.
So to those of you who have gifted me with your prayers, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I have a feeling that I will sleep easily tonight, not plagued by the persistent fear and thoughts that have kept me up at night. Again, I know that only one person knows what will happen to our little baby. But I also know that for the first time in 20 days, I have a renewed hope. That hope came from the generous and selfless prayers that have undeniably given this baby a fighting chance.