March 27, 2009
I never in a million years thought I'd enjoy wedding planning. I had visions of absurd quantities of money being spent on absurd things for one, single day. I thought about mom and I arguing over details and of wanting a beautiful day but being too neurotic about everything to enjoy it. So, I sit here today, utterly surprised at myself.
I love this. (Grant it, we have 6 months to go so I assume things will change, but I'm hopeful!) 6 months from today, Ross and I will be on a plane to some yet to be determined exotic place. But today, I am loving most of this wedding planning business. I told my roommate the other day that I couldn't figure out why I felt more light than usual, a little less morose. And the only change has been planning this wedding.
There is joy that I'm finding in the frivolity of it all. I spend lots of time thinking about colors of bridesmaid dresses, flavors of the cake Katie will bake for us, what favorite hymns will be sung. Most of it is insignificant in the big scheme of life, but it feels good to take my mind off of the bad things of the world, the sickness and war and my depleted 401k. It feels AMAZING to let myself be girly and to talk to my sister-in-law about invitations and our inability to serve liquor at our weddings (sorry folks.) It feels great to gawk at my mom's mother-of-the-bride dress and to plan a whole day in Athens just to look at a color swatch.
And it's not all insignificant. After all, we are planning an important day, celebrating our love and the beginning of our life together. We are preparing for the SACRAMENT of marriage, for the vocation God has laid out before us. And yes, I'm spending slightly more time on planning the reception than I am on choosing scripture, but we'll get to that. I read somewhere that 'yes, it is just one day, but it's also your ONLY day.' (Do I sound like I'm trying to convince myself of this?!) But truly, I feel differently than I thought I would. It helps immensely that my dad sold his blood or something and is happily paying for this shindig. It helps more that my sister is the queen of domesticity and knows how to do all this stuff and that my mom knows every person in Savannah. I don't know what it is, except that I am finding joy in preparing for this ONE day, this ONE day that I will marry that fantastic man. I am finding joy in looking at my beautiful flower girls and smudging their faces with kisses. I am finding joy in talking to my sister about details. I am finding joy in giving myself a break from all the seriousness of the world and just being a 27-year-old very happy bride-to-be.
It feels weird to write a post that's not about 'signficant things.' But the feeling is a good one, just a silly, fun time in my life where such joy jumps around in my heart. I am so grateful!