Relationships are hard. Um. Duh Keri. Really though, I've never found myself to be particularly good at them. Maybe this is why I've found myself so attached to my girlfriends. They are sooo much easier than the boyfriends. There's not many a girlfriend problem that can't be cured with Steel Magnolias and a cheap bottle of wine. The boys, not so easy.
In these fun first weeks of our engagement, the boy and I have had some moments. I'm quickly realizing that this being a wife thing might not be so easy after all. Not that I was ever stupid enough to think it was going to be walk in the park, but whoa! And because he doesn't ask to be talked about on the world wide web, I won't hone in on his role in some of these notsofun 'moments.' I will tell you that mine have me cringing in embarassment at the person I let myself become when that little devil creeps into my heart. But that's for the confessional. Not for you.
So last night, in my typically overscheduled life, R and I had planned to go hear a weekly Lenten talk by the Archbishop in my part of town. I had been looking forward to it, as the Archbishop of Atlanta is one of the best speakers I've ever heard, but I digress. As we were making plans to, again as usual, squeeze something else into the evening by grabbing dinner, I realized I didn't want to rush. I wanted some time with the boy, unhurried and hopefully, uneventful. I claimed an inability to listen to a talk tonight and lured him with tostados and Mexican beer. He didn't even put up a fight!
The evening was perfect. I felt a twinge of guilt for not doing what I felt was the 'right' thing to do, going to a spiritual discussion. But over a glass of red wine sangria chips and chips and salsa, I think I did do the right thing. I invested in this relationship. We had our own discussions about the last few weeks, about our ideas for the wedding, about the honeymoon location. And we just enjoyed each other. I stared at this man who is crazy enough to want to marry me and thought about how much God truly must love me to send him to me. And he's not that diluted either. He seems to be walking into this with eyes wide open to how emotional and irrational and passionate I can be. He's got free will, so let's go R- good luck buddy!
Really though, as I enjoy my bit of self-deprecation, I think the lesson learned is to step away from the chaotic, over-scheduled life I lead sometimes. And just spend some quality time, over quality shrimp tacos, with a quality person. I feel like a new woman today.
Why do I feel like I'm going to learn that lesson over and over and over again during the next 60 or so years?
These sweet guys~in two weeks, R and I will fly to Philly to watch one receive his 1st Holy Communion and to stand as the very priviledged Godparents of the little one. Love them!!
p.s. we look so oily because it was 250 degrees in Philly this past summer when this picture was taken!